Exhale

Sofi reading to her baby. Such an innocent photo, yet to me this picture says so much more.

The last few weeks have been such an eye opener. School is now in rhythm, routines are set and mom is finally feeling like she can move forward. Sofi is not an easy toddler. She has so much energy, such a high need for attention. The dream of me working from home while she played quietly next to me, or while she took her 2 hr nap, is not real. I think I have come to accept that. I am learning how to be still. I am learning how to sit with her in a quiet and room and play. I am learning how hard it is to focus on one thing and not feel guilty about multi-tasking 5 projects. I am learning it is okay for some quality, non-work personal time with my girl. And for the first time ever, she sat down yesterday and played alone. Wow.

I have been looking for inspiration for a long time. Pretty much all year. How do I handle all the responsibities in my life? Realistically I should be working at least 30 hrs a weeek in office to keep up with all my projects at work. I have daycare. I have a calling, which has been really neglected. I have 4 busy children. I run a house that needs clean clothes and non-moldy food and organization. My 3 older kids have enough homeowork each night to send me back to school full time. I have a sweet litle girl whose brain is a sponge and should be filled with more than just "shut-up" (Robby taught her that). Ocassionally I run a taxi service. Oh, and I should nurture my marriage. Yes, a date once in a while that is not work related. So, I have been praying for answers. I have been praying for guidance. I have been praying for help. I have been praying for peace. Inspiration from the spirit always comes to when I am supposed to be asleep. Yep, 3 am. Maybe the Lord knows that is when my mind is the most queit.

My inspiration has been coming in pieces. Learning to say no. Learning to delegate. And then there was the 3 am call from the Lord. It is time to sell our rental house. Wow. I wasn't looking for that one. But now I understand. This is the Lord's blessing. And like most blessings, it is not a hand out. I will be working my butt off for the next couple weeks. But I have faith that the Lord is in charge. I feel the spririt so heavily. I look forward to the miracles. No more landlord problems. 2 less bills. Extra money! Being able to be out of debt that is still left over from Kelbre's birth. Less bills = more me time. More Sofi time. A less cranky mommy. The future is bright.

Hello and Goodbye Oregon

It's been 10 years but we made it back to Oregon. Aaron has been feeling really left out since Sofi was born, and all the other kids being born here. So here it is: Aaron seeing the fabulous hosipital where he was born.

Okay, it's just so much fun taking pictures of this kid. She is such a little rascal and trying to get her to even look at the camera is about impossible. But every now and then you get a good one:

I was really impressed at how well the whole family did together. Sometimes spending that much time together in a small space can lead to lots of fighting, but everyone really worked hard to be happy and cooperative. Robb and I devoted ourselves to the kids completely, meaning NO WORK. Which was great then and not so great now that we are home. Oh well. Here are a few more good ones:

So happy to be a mom to these 4 great kids even though many of them give me gray hair. I am so happy we had this chance to get away.
Now to take a big, long breath and face the craziness back at home.

Frozen in time

After a day of pure exhaustion, we made it to Oregon. I was really impressed at the ease of our flight, but the rest of the day involved a lot of waiting and a VERY cranky baby. I can only imagine how the flight home is going to go, when our flight leaves at 6 am. Here is the shot I got of the kids before we took off. Yes Robb, I should have had them close the window shade. I don't think of things like that.

My son Aaron is 12. I can't believe it! When we left Oregon last time, he was 2. Where did the time go? I can't believe what a remarkable young man he has become. Robb and I were joking that we should have named him Robby; he is so much like his dad. He is very athletic (football, basketball and track) and seems to be good at everything he does naturally. He also has his daddy's brain, which makes him a little bit of a smarty pants. I certainly don't comprehend things like they do..

We went to a place called Oaks Amusement park, which is like a permanent fair. If you want to know what kind of child Aaron is, just look at this photo:

What other 12 year old boy would be caught dead on a carousel ride? He did it to make his baby sister happy. And mom can use the photo later on as blackmail. How great is that?

I am so proud of all my children. We are sharing one of those rare moments when life can slow down a bit and we can just enjoy each other. A dream state. We laugh together, we play together and everyone is getting along. I imagine part of that is due to the fact that the older two always have plugs in their ears and their eyes on a screen, but trips aren't like they were when I was growing up. The trip isn't part of the fun, it's just a means to get there. But I'll take what I can get. I needed this trip for my sanity. To step away and just enjoy the view.